October: The problem with Halloween is that you have to wait for the 31st to enjoy it. Not on The Holiday Channel. Enjoy the spooktacular festivities all thirty-one days. You’ll have the best seat in the house for the front door. Whenever the doorbell rings, we’ll open it up to reveal trick-or-treaters. They’re going to shout, “Trick or treat” and you can shout along with them. The fun goes on and on as an endless parade of costumed visitors will stop by for goodies. Between visits feel free to sit at home and discuss what kind of costume you think will be next. Appropriately haunting music will play while you wait. Ding-dong. Here’s some more visitors.
We haven’t left out the adults either. After the kids have gone to bed we adjust the scare factor of our program. (Not too much though.) Periodically, the door will open to reveal an iconic movie madman who then attacks the person answering the door. Off-screen, that is, so as to keep things within a TV-14 rating.
November: The blazing Yule log was a great idea and some ideas deserve to be repeated. In this case it will be a turkey roasting on an open fire. Enjoy festive Thanksgiving songs as this delicious gobbler rotates as it cooks. You won’t be the only one eyeing this bird. Our family of actors will be peeking in on its progress and offering comments about how good it looks – and smells.
Keep your notepads handy. The recipes for an entire turkey extravaganza will be cleverly disguised as family discussions between the Holiday Channel chefs. That includes plenty of tips on how to turn those leftovers into “nothing left.”
December: Here we are at the end of the year and you may be cheering for another season of a blazing Yule log and accompanying Christmas music. We say – nonsense. Out with the old and in with the new. This year get ready for a winter wonderland as we look out The Holiday Channel front room window. Falling snow will make you happy you’re enjoying the winter from the comfort of your own couch. A snappy collection of seasonal songs will keep the mood festive. In addition to the snow there will be the occasional horse-drawn sled zooming by and bands of carolers stopping out front with a special performance just for you.
That wraps up the year of programming from The Holiday Channel, but we’re not sitting on our laurels. Next year watch for the unveiling of our sister cable channel: The Weekend Channel. No need to look forward to the weekend when we turn every day into Friday.
ROFL! I can already tell I'm gonna have fun here Randy!
ReplyDeleteAnd every day a Friday? Sign me up!