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Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Holiday Channel: Part II

We continue with our year-long review.

April: Spring has arrived and it’s time to celebrate. What better way to do that than in a humongous, luscious lawn? And not just any yard, but one that would be the envy of your neighborhood. Go ahead and enjoy a well-manicured landscape without lifting a finger.  To keep things exciting, The Holiday Channel will have its very own egg hunt. We put you in the driver’s seat as our camera moves about the immaculate estate of our station manager in the quest for eggs. You’ll feel like you’re part of the action as the camera zooms in when an egg is found. Running commentary will accompany the search with such gems as: “Hurry, over here. I found another one.” And: “I saw it first?” Feel free to keep a running tally of the colorful eggs that you find during the month.

May: Face it, we all have moms. Here’s your chance to have “The World’s Best Mom” at home with you this month. The Holiday Channel follows our ideal mom around the house as she makes it a home. Watch Mom cook. Watch Mom sew. Watch Mom do the laundry. Enjoy a pristine environment as Mom cleans our producer’s home all month long. Not only that, but every night at it’s story time. Watch and listen as Mom reads your children to sleep.

(Due to the popular nature of the full-time Mom, you can continue to bring this show into your home for a small monthly fee after the end of May.)

June: At the Holiday Channel, June is all about summer and fathers. Not necessarily in that order. We combine the two and give you the barbeque of a lifetime. You get all of the smoke and none of the burnt offerings (or visits by the fire department).  Watch our specially selected dad as he works the grill. Sage bits of grilling advice will be part of the running commentary he provides as he performs his backyard culinary magic. Peppered throughout the show will be fatherly rebukes like: “Back up – this grill is hot.” And: “Stop it.” As well as the classic: “Don’t make me come over there.”

As an added bonus, The Holiday Channel will be running a contest in June. Count the number of burgers that Dad burns beyond the point of being recognizable as food. Everyone who gets the number correct will win a prize; a custom cooking apron that states “I spent my summer with The Holiday Channel.”

1 comment:

  1. LOL- this was fun to read. Hi there- new follower.