The summer crop of new shows was recently announced and among them included a competition for men growing beards. I wish I’d been a fly on the wall for that pitch session. Then I remembered having much the same reaction when I heard that cable would be offering a 24-hour blazing Yule log during Christmas. Not only did it turn out successful, but I ended up leaving my television tuned to it.
Some ideas may sound wacky and first, but find an audience. Along a similar line here is my very own offering: The Holiday Channel. If people will tune in for continuous footage of a fire accompanied by Christmas music then why not expand the idea and make every day a holiday. This is the programming for my proposed cable channel.
January: Don’t limit yourself to feeling the heady excitement of a new year to just one day; let the wonderful possibilities for your future linger for an entire month. That’s thirty times as many resolutions you can make. During January, The Holiday Channel will present a non-stop party. Set to the festive sounds of Auld Lang Syne party-goers, dressed in tuxedoes and lavish evening gowns, mill around a ballroom smiling, dancing and snacking on canapés. An occasional bit of noise-maker action mixed in keeps the party on a high notes. At the top of every hour, a disco ball descends and everyone throws glitter in the air and shouts greetings to the New Year.
February: We do an about face in February. After a month long party, you’ll appreciate a cozy little snuggle by the fire with your favorite someone. To ensure this moment is all about you and your loved one The Holiday Channel has screened off the action. (It also keeps this at a “family friendly” level.) All the action of our two lovebirds will take place behind a screen as they cuddle in front of a romantic fireplace. You’ll only be seeing their silhouettes, but that won’t keep you from feeling the moment. The sounds of smooching and snickering will help ignite the fires of passion in your home as you stay tuned to the passion-fest.
March: Don’t take life too seriously. Especially after last month’s tribute to relationships it’s time to cut loose and laugh a little. Flynn Fitzpatrick will see you through the month in rollicking style. The Holiday Channel’s leprechaun has perched himself atop a mushroom and will sing Irish ditties all month long. In between songs (and hopefully moderate swigs of green ale) he will tell jokes and relate “family friendly” limericks.