Norm of the North $$
Starring: Rob Schneider, Heather Graham, and Ken Jeong.
Directors: Trevor Wall.
It’s pretty early to start talking about the worst movie of the year. After all, we are barely halfway through January. However, I have a feeling that Norm of the North will be a strong contender for this dubious title.
The strongest impression I had while watching Norm was that this wasn’t a movie at all—it’s a propaganda campaign targeting the development of arctic wilderness areas. Don’t get me wrong, I whole-heartedly support keeping the natural wonders of the world pristine. What I don’t need is to be hit over the head, repeatedly, with heavy-handed anti-development propaganda. Please, keep in mind that as an author I expect my fellow writers to write what they are passionate about. I don’t mind a story about a character wanting to keep their home safe from the ravagers of the world. Just make sure you follow the usual steps for creating an entertaining story.
It has been a long time since I have been this miserable sitting through a film. Bring on Barney. Bring on My Little Pony. But please, leave Norm where ever you found him.
This is how I rated Norm of the North.
1. Fun – No. The only part of the film I enjoyed were the lemmings, but jokes about bodily functions and jumping on furniture will only get you so far. Still, 90 minutes of them would have been immeasurably more entertaining. What especially annoyed me was the villain Mr. Greene (Ken Jeong) constantly screaming at everyone. He’s actually worse than my two youngest boys—combined. I hesitantly gave Norm half a MB for the lemmings and only the lemmings.
2. Story – What story? I suppose there is a story idea at the heart of this fiasco, but there is so much propaganda piled on top that I had a hard time appreciating it. And really, the plot development was horrid. I gave Norm zero MB for story because while there was a basic idea simply repeating the themes of keep-the-arctic-pristine and developers-are-evil does not a story make.
3. Technical – The animation was acceptable, but the editing moved the scenes along in a way that I found juvenile—sort of like yanking string in front of a kitten. I gave it half a MB for the animation.
4. Acting – I didn’t even realize that Norm was voiced by Rob Schneider until I read the end credits. None of the energy that I associate with the actor was there. And the rest of the characters were bland – except Mr. Greene who was annoying with his one-note yelling at every situation. Is this the fault of the writers or the director or the actors or all of them combined? I’m not sure. Only the lemmings stood out and they have no understandable lines. I gave zero MB for voice uninspiring voice work.
If I only do one good deed this year let it be the chance to prevent even a single person from seeing this film. Then I can cheer at having improved the world in some minor way. By the numbers, Norm of the North gets 1 Movie Buck which rates it as a rental, but I hate to even give that recommendation. Children may enjoy the film—although my daughter did not.
Randy’s Rating System
$$$$ = Full Price See this movie right away and pay full price, it’s worth it.
$$$ = Matinee Catch this as a matinee or other discounted showing.
$$ = Discount Wait until this movie reaches a discount theater near you.
$ = Rental Wait until this movie reaches your local video rental outlet.
0 = No Sale Don’t see this movie at any price.